There is no manual of appropriate rules and behaviours for being a perfect parent. Basically because such a figure does not exist. The family must adapt to its child, be demanding but without losing affection and love. This is a constant balancing formula that can be unbalanced by certain common mistakes that we sometimes make, but which can be avoided! Let's see what we mean.
We will not deny that society is constantly changing. Perhaps what a few generations ago would have been an exemplary father or mother figure, today would not know how to manage the arrival of social networks, video games or online classes. And conversely, those parents who are up to date in the routines of generation Z would not share the traditional methodologies of those teachers who trained our grandparents.
Of course, we will always have to keep an eye on pillars such as respect, signs of affection or indicators such as grades to know if something is going wrong. But there are many details that we sometimes overlook that are also important and that can lead us, little by little, to wear down our children's education.
Here are some tips:
1. You are not their teacher, nor should you want to be
You must understand your role. Of course, you will teach values, education... but as far as academic curriculum materials are concerned, you should not interfere in the task of teaching professionals. For several reasons. To begin with, if you contradict them you are disavowing them and giving the starting signal that your son or daughter may not take them seriously. In addition, your child should be increasingly independent and have the autonomy to make mistakes, without having a parent on his or her back to correct homework. Many studies show that people internalise knowledge better when we make mistakes and assimilate the answer correctly by explaining why what we thought was true was not true.
2. Let's not go over to the other side either!
Not being on top of our son or daughter does not mean that you suddenly become completely uninterested in any of their school matters. You have to find a middle ground. Being aware of what is happening at school is essential to be able to help your child and not feel rejected or abandoned. In this way, we can see their growth from a prudent perspective and at the same time be close to them. Know what excursions are coming up and ask them if they like the activity, go to meetings with teachers to find out about their progress, watch the games in extracurricular activities. That's what you should do!
3. Do you give positive reinforcement?
Children need to hear, from time to time, if what they are doing is right. With a simple comment we can boost their self-esteem and give them that dose of confidence they need. Without them becoming too narcissistic, as always, it's all a constant balancing act. It will be a waste of time to try to make our child an Einstein, demanding too much of them and making demands that are not even within their reach.
As this article points aout, wanting Einsteins in the family is:
"A very common trait [...] is the eagerness to over-stimulate children, from birth, so that they develop their abilities quickly, and this translates into filling the cot with gadgets, in an abuse of didactic games, in wanting them to know how to read and write at the age of four [...] to discover and enhance their talent".
All this overexertion leads to over-stimulation which, far from achieving faster development, often has counterproductive effects in the form of attention problems, lack of concentration or hyperactivity.
4. Don't reward their grades, reward their effort
Sometimes, depending on your child's character, valuing only their grades can be counterproductive. They can become obsessed with academic results and forget the pleasure of learning new things. It may not be as appropriate to give them a gift for their grades as it is to reward them for the effort they have made over the course of a term.
We hope you have found this article useful. If so, we remind you that in our blog you will find numerous texts related to the world of education and current affairs in the sector.